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Your lips, my bride, drip honey;

Honey and milk are under your tongue,

And the fragrance of your garments

Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

The Torah, the Word of Adonai, is compared to milk and honey. The more we learn, the more we do. The more we learn, the more we can speak with spiritual intelligence.

Midrash Rabbah 4§22 says:

If one can make his words pleasing like honey and milk mixed together when he is speaking [under your tongue], then he is fit to say words of Torah [honey drops from your lips]…he must incorporate multiple branches of Torah knowledge in his addresses, like the different tastes of honey and milk mixing together.

The “different tastes” can mean incorporating different parts of Scripture into one’s words, or it can mean selecting the words to fit the understanding level of the hearers. Incorporating different parts of Scripture in an exhortation or teaching is likened to the twenty-four adornments of the Bride listed in Isaiah. Just as the high priest may not serve if he is missing even one of his eight garments, so the Bride should be well-versed (!) in all of the Word so that she may present them as delicious meals that are both appreciated and digested. The Midrash continues:

Before one undertakes to present a reproachful sermon to an audience, he must determine that his message of inspiration and reproof will be so appealing to its recipients that it can potentially turn them around, transforming ‘unclean’ sinners into pure and holy people. Only when one’s sermons meet this ‘milk-and-honey’ standard-when they resonate with the masses and inspire them to repentance-does he have license to give them; otherwise, they are better left unsaid.
Anyone who says words of Torah in public, and they are not pleasing to those who hear them is like the bride, who is pleasing to people when under her wedding canopy, it would have been better for him had he not said them. If the audience does not appreciate them, the words of Torah that he is imparting will suffer disgrace. One must ensure that he teaches Torah using the choicest of words, entirely free of inaccuracy or imperfection.

A teacher should not teach according to his or her own disappointments, hurts, anger, fears, or grief. Those words will not be beautiful, nor will they move people to repentance. Life experiences inform what we teach, but personal emotions should never be allowed to direct the Word in a way to inflict one’s own anger, fear, or disappointment onto the hearers. Those types of tantrums disguised as teaching or preaching bring reproach to the beautiful Word.

Additionally, if the teacher is unfamiliar with the whole Word, or the teaching is not in harmony with the whole Word, the teacher will teach inaccurately. This is the danger of fixation on one doctrine. There is another danger as well…

Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. (Mt 7:6)

While this sounds harsh, look at the Torah clues to Yeshua’s warning. Dogs may eat trafe, or “torn” meat, that which does not meet the criteria of food for the holy community. Such food is not slaughtered precisely, without cruelty, according to high standards. Dogs slaughter and eat their food through strangling and tearing. Yeshua isn’t calling people dogs and pigs; he’s using the analogy to show how the food offered needs to fit the eater.

Pigs do not recognize as valuable what is valuable to humans. They only value what goes into their stomachs. The beautiful pearls of Scripture are not useful to them.

It’s important to know your audience or students. Teach over someone’s head, and the time is wasted. Insult their learning level, and the time is wasted. In a mixed audience, try to hit somewhere in the middle. Teach to the students’ needs, yet stretch them to holier places. Challenge with milk and honey until they can consume holy meat without tearing it in the processing.

If they are “hogging” on a single doctrine, consider whether the pearls of Torah will be trampled in their pursuit. Their appetites may need to change before the whole Word is appreciated.

The prophets often proclaimed the Word to people who didn’t heed their words, nor did they repent. They often tore and trampled the prophets or killed them.

On the other hand, a remnant heard. If you are inspired of the Ruach HaKodesh to proclaim the Word, then do so. You might be planting seeds of repentance such as Stephen planted in Paul even as he was being martyred. Stephen’s dying sermon was full bridal adornment, taking the hearers on a TANAKH tour. Peter’s Shavuot sermon moved thousands. We don’t have control over what the hearers do with the Word, whether they will let it encourage them or cause them to repent.

The remnant heard and repented, passing along the Scriptures we have today. What is the balance then? Milk and honey, or fiery hellfire diatribes?

It’s not that you can’t speak hard words, but how they are delivered. Kindness and truth are intrinsic to the Torah. Truth draws the spirit, while kindness draws the soul.

If we disregard the whole person who is listening, our lecturing may reveal a soul sickness within ourselves, not those whom we are “reproving and correcting.” Moses and Aaron paid dearly for “you rebels.” The Israelites weren’t rebelling, they were grieving.

When someone says, “It’s just the way I feel,” it’s all and only about what they feel. Assume that whatever follows will not be balanced with truth or balance. The person is telling us plainly that facts don’t matter and he or she has no concern for the object of their words or actions in that situation. He or she is telling the truth about one thing: the person only cares about how he feels.

Maniacal social media posting usually gratifies those who are “with” us, distances even more those who aren’t, and confuses others. Such careless dissemination of the Word is only marginally for the benefit of the hearer or reader. It is primarily for the careless, soul-controlled sower worshiping his or her current perceptions.

Who knows how much inaccurate “out loud” thinking has dropped into a reader’s or hearer’s heart when we fancy ourselves a Stephen being martyred for truth? The Word is beautiful. Delicious. Fragrant. Pleasing. It is the teacher’s job to instruct so that the beauty of the Word is imparted.

It is also important for the student to find a teacher who has the ability to impart the Word in a way that is milk, honey, and eventually, meat to the soul. Not every teacher fits every student. If the teacher’s delivery doesn’t click, then it’s no reason to tear or trample the sower. Find a teacher able to click and coach into holier spaces of service.

A few weeks ago, Ulpan-Or Hebrew Newsletter wrote:

The Hebrew word for donkey (in general) is “khamor” – ????.

Khamor also refers to matter / material / clay – ????.

Both are derived from the same Hebrew root – ???

In Exodus the verse states:

???? ??????? ?????? ?????????, ????? ?????? ?????????, ???????????, ??????? ??? ????? ????????, ??????

When you see the donkey of your enemy being overburdened by its burdens, don’t ignore it. It’s incumbent upon you to help relieve its burden.

You observe “khamor”, meaning – your physical body and the coarse materialism of life – and you see that it is your enemy, opposing all things spiritual, and feeling overburdened by the sublime responsibilities of the soul. You may then think of ignoring your body so that it does not distract you from fulfilling your calling. You may even want to punish the body through asceticism and self-affliction.

Says the Torah: No! You are responsible to support, refine and elevate the material aspect of your being – the “khamor”, even if it appears to be your enemy. Thus, our Torah portion reveals the following principle:

At times, when we are unable to hear the voice of the spirit within us, we must listen to our material body’s voice. (summarized from Ulpan-Or Newsletter, July 19, 2024)

Throwing harsh words into the ether is like screaming to make yourself heard in the crowd around the Tower of Bavel. Throwing harsh words at believers without understanding their physical and emotional state is not something a teacher should do. Like the Israelites complaining about the water, there may be more to know about the situation before firing off Word canons.

Most likely, the fiery words of Torah are falling on uncomprehending ears. Another stick thrown on their donkey. A trampled pearl. Torn beyond recognition. Shouldn’t they hear the Word as milk and honey, as truth to the spirit AND kindness to the soul?

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God… (Ja 1:19-20) If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? (Ja 2:15-16)

Sometimes what the body and soul need are milk and honey. Nurture a disciple, know them, and form a relationship. Just as a mom knows what her children can eat or not at each stage of growth, the teacher selects the Words. No tearing or strangling necessary when the students grow into appeciating solid, holy meat fit for a nation of royal priests.