The Filling Station

When I was around four years old, my aunt borrowed my dad’s work truck, probably to carry a load of tomatoes to market. If you’ve never had a freshly-picked southwest Arkansas-grown Bradley tomato, you don’t know what you’re missing. 

My Aunt Frances took me along, and she pulled into a filling station to get gas. For those of you too young to know what a filling station is, it’s a lot like a gas station, but there’s someone there to pump the gas, often dressed in a uniform. He checked the tire pressure and cleaned the windshield while the gas pumped. Eventually, they called that “Full service.” Back then, it was the only kind of service. 

The attendant asked my Aunt Frances what kind of gas she wanted. My aunt wasn’t sure what Dad used, so she asked me, “Hollisa, what kind of gas does your daddy put in this truck?”

Happy to have the right answer to a very adult question, I replied, “He gets Fillerupregular.” 

Nowadays, I suppose it’s even more important to select the right kind of fuel for different kinds of engines. 

In the Kingdom of Heaven, often disputes arise about grace vs works because we are pouring the wrong kind of fuel. The fuel is wrong because the question is wrong. The question is wrong because of a misunderstanding of the fundamentals of salvation, grace, obedience, and holiness. Like my four-year-old understanding of gasoline, often we simply parrot what we’ve heard someone say, someone older or wiser than we. We memorize the answer before we understand the words. 

There is a reason two cheruvim guard the entrance to the Garden. Death cannot dwell there. Sin falls under the legal purview of death. Rebellion and transgression sins transfer a person under the custody of death. To allow a sinner to enter the holier spaces of the Presence is to consign them to the custody of death. It’s like trying to drop a quarter into the slot only big enough for a dime. The way to the most powerful dwelling of the Divine Presence grows narrower as we walk with Adonai. 

Salvation begins the walk, but sanctification is a lifelong process of letting the Ruach HaKodesh shape us and strip away impairments that might delay our ability to stand and serve in holier places of the Presence. Adonai does not want us foolishly scampering into a holier place than that for which our obedience has prepared us. Just as there is glory to glory, life to life, growth to growth, so there are different kinds of “death.” Death is a matter of separation. 

The Mishkan drew levels of holiness in the Camp of Israel. The pattern of the kohanim illustrates how a nation of priests should approach the holy spaces of ministry in holy garments so that they are not cut off…

You shall make holy garments for Aaron your brother, for glory and for beauty. You shall speak to all the skillful persons whom I have endowed with the spirit of wisdom, that they make Aaron’s garments to consecrate him, that he may minister as priest to Me. These are the garments which they shall make:..(Ex 28:2-4) … “They shall be on Aaron and on his sons when they enter the tent of meeting, or when they approach the altar to minister in the holy place, so that they do not incur guilt and die.” (v. 43)

Even the Kohen HaGadol could die from his service!

It doesn’t mean he wasn’t saved from the second death, but that he couldn’t fit into that holy space in disobedience.

Rashi comments to the passage above: 

“When they enter the Tent of Meeting…and die.” See that you have learned from this verse that a Kohen who performs the service lacking any of the Kohen’s garments in subject to death.” This is a death “at the hands of Heaven,” not execution by the courts. 

It may or may not have an immediate visible effect to the natural eye.

Rashi to Ex 28:41 

“With them you shall dress Aaron your brother and his sons with him; you shall anoint them [with anointing oil], and you shall fill their hand, and you shall sanctify them, and they shall be Kohanim…” “Any filling of the hands in Scripture is an expression of inauguration when one enters upon a matter to be acknowledge as holding it from that day on that is called filling of the hands…filling the hands connotes taking full possession of something, e.g., a position of authority.”

Even though Aaron’s sons Nadav and Avihu had died in a holier place of the Presence than their obedience and level of consecration permitted, nevertheless, Aaron was required to stay in the Mishkan because the anointing oil was upon him. The authority and responsbility had been poured into his hands.

As Kohen HaGadol, his consecration had prepared him for the realm of holiness, the incense service, for which his sons had not yet been authorized. Obedience and consecration fills our hands with the authority of the Holy One to serve in the holier places, and unlike the rest of Israel, Aaron was limited in how he could grieve. The anointing prepares us for the suffering we will do in order to “fit” in those holier places of the Presence. 

How does this enrich our understanding of Boaz’ statement to Ruth not to appear before Naomi “empty-handed” in the House of Bread, Beit Lechem?

Filling our hands with offerings when we approach the holy places such as Mishkan, Mikdash, or even our local congregation, is an affirmation of our position as a Kingdom of Priests willing to serve in the holier spaces.  Juxtaposed with these extensive explanations of the Kohen HaGadol’s garments in Exodus 28 is a comprehensive list of oil-infused matzah “lechem,” “challot,” and “rakik” in Exodus 29:2-3.

Ruth was engaging in an act of consecration on the threshing floor of Beit Lechem. Boaz acknowledged her clean garments, her anointing, her request for a holier place of the Presence of Adonai. A marriage should create a holy place for the family to thrive in the service of Adonai. Most likely, Boaz had been longing for this moment of pouring into her hands this promise of a closer place in his home, extending his authority into her hands to minister on his behalf, encouraging Naomi of restoration.

This should inspire us to never have a garment lacking as we await the Bridegroom. Let us never lack for oil to anoint our gifts of “poor man’s bread” or for oil of anointing on our heads and hands as royal priests of the Kingdom. As we grow in obedience, we will grow in respect to our salvation and step into the holier places attained only through service and suffering for the sake of the Word. 

What if we despair of family or friends who don’t seem to be preparing to stand in the holier places of the Presence?

“Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” (Ro 14:4)

While it is important to pray for the unsaved, yes, often the saved are not interested in dwelling in holier places in eternity. Maybe they are so consumed with their own interests that we doubt their salvation. The good news is that there are many realms of holiness, just like the Israelite camp. Although many servants may not be able to stand in the Temple, there are less holy spaces that they can be made to stand where the brightness of the Divine Presence will not bring about the second death. 

Yeshua taught in Luke 14:7-11 that we shouldn’t make assumptions about one another’s “place” in the Kingdom, but to remain humble servants:

And He began speaking a parable to the invited guests when He noticed how they had been picking out the places of honor at the table, saying to them, “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for someone more distinguished than you may have been invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then in disgrace you proceed to occupy the last place. But when you are invited, go and recline at the last place, so that when the one who has invited you comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will have honor in the sight of all who are at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

If we strive to obey the Word, let it not be in order to gain a reward of a higher position over others, but for the intimacy of holier places to serve and linger near the “livelier” realms of holiness.

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That’s not like you.

He wasn’t himself.

She’s having a bad day.

Ever say that to or about someone?

After the beloved Miriam’s death, the gracious Moses and Aaron go missing:

And the people of Israel, the whole congregation, came into the wilderness of Zin in the first month, and the people stayed in Kadesh. And Miriam died there and was buried there. Now there was no water for the congregation.

And they assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron. And the people quarreled with Moses and said, “Would that we had perished when our brothers perished before the Lord! Why have you brought the assembly of the Lord into this wilderness, that we should die here, both we and our cattle? And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink.” Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the Lord appeared to them, and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.” And Moses took the staff from before the Lord, as he commanded him.
Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock. And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, and through them he showed himself holy. (Nu 20:1-13)

When Moses and Aaron took the message to the congregation, did they transmit the Glory of the Presence? Was it consistent with Kadesh, a place of testing in holiness?

When they delivered the message, did Israel see what they saw in the Tent of Meeting?

In Chukkat, there are three examples of the “sanctification of the Name” to witnesses through the death of a righteous person:

1)The death of Miriam

The death decrees of

2)Moses and

3)Aaron.

Before that, the deaths of Nadav and Avihu…

Then Moses said to Aaron, “It is what the LORD spoke, saying, ‘I will be sanctified by those who are close to Me, and before all the people I will be honored.’ So Aaron, therefore, kept silent.” (Le 10:3)

When a righteous person is judged or simply passes away peacefully, it definitely creates awe, mourning, and fear in those who see or hear it, thus sanctifying the Name.

But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Since you did not believe in Me to sanctify Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore, you will not bring this congregation to the land which I have given them.” They are the waters of strife, where the children of Israel contended with the LORD, and He was sanctified through them. (Nu 20:12-13 Artscroll)

As a result, the trio were all removed from the congregation before entering the Promised Land. Missing.

A garden locked is my sister, my bride,

A rock garden locked, a spring sealed up. (So 4:12)

A hint to our missing persons, Miriam, Moses, and Aaron, may be found in the “eyes of the people,” the Bride being tried in the wilderness:

“Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water.” (v 8)
“…to treat Me as holy in the sight of the sons of Israel…” (v 12)

Einayim (pl), ein, “eye,” or “sight” also means a spring, a fountain. Had Moses and Aaron spoken tenderly to the sealed “rock garden,” it may have released the holy spiritual power of faith, hope, and love within the Bride. Instead, they scolded angrily, and it released only natural water. This did not really help the congregation through the test, only pointed out their shortcomings.

Nothing has changed in our Exodus story at this point. Israel is the Bride being tested according to the mitzvot, particularly the Ten Words they agreed to at Har Sinai:

“You shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.” (Dt 8:2)

In this week’s Torah portion, we can find tests of at least five of the first six Words:

First Commandment (Exodus 20:2)

I am the Lord Your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

Second Commandment (Exodus 20:3-6)

You shall have no other gods beside Me.

Yet, Moses and Aaron say, “Shall we bring forth water for you out of this rock?”

Third Commandment (Exodus 20:7)

You shall not take the name of the Lord Your God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain [falsely, in vanity, in emptiness]

Moses and Aaron’s words are not exactly a vow, but a violation of the spirit in which the message was received. It was passed on to the people in a spirit of anger, not holiness. “And the glory of the Lord appeared to them, and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them…” In other words, Moses and Aaron, “do it like this…” in a spirit of glorious assurance just as you’re experiencing it in the Tent of the Assembly.

Fourth Commandment (Exodus 20:8-11)

Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy.

We’ll come back to this one.

Fifth Commandment (Exodus 20:12)

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord God gives you.

“Then Miriam the prophet, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand, and all the women followed her, with timbrels and dancing.” (Ex 15:20) “You rebels…”
Miriam was a mother in Israel, a prophetess, and the congregation needed to mourn her and honor her memory. Instead, Moses calls them “rebels,” a play-on word to Miriam’s name [Hamorim-Miryam]. As a result, they did not progress to the Land.
?????????–???????

Sixth Commandment (Exodus 20:13)

You shall not murder.

“Death and life are in the hand of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Pr 18:21) “You rebels…” The text implies that the water stopped because Miriam died. The people were grieving more than just the loss of water, but Moses and Aaron, likely exhausted from grief themselves and the weight of leadership, went missing that day. They murdered the congregation’s reputation by calling them rebels when the Holy One knew it was a grief and glory problem, not a rebellion. They were accused with Moses and Aaron’s own shortcoming that day.

Maybe the simplest explanation is found in the beauty associated with the Tried Bride…

Your lips, my bride, drip honey;

Honey and milk are under your tongue,

And the fragrance of your garments

Is like the fragrance of Lebanon. (So 4:11)

Torah is milk and honey; it should be pleasant to those who hear it. The Bride’s fragrance is that of Lebanon, the “bones” of the Temple structure. It houses the Presence and glory of Adonai. The words spoken to the Bride of Israel should have comforted them with their pleasant encouragement and released the fragrance of Adonai’s glorious Presence.

Midrash Rabbah 4§22: “Anyone who says words of Torah in public, and they are not pleasing to those who hear them is:

Like the fine flour that floats on top of the sieve, it would have been better for him had he not said them.
Like the bride, who is pleasing to people when under her wedding canopy, it would have been better for him had he not said them.
If the audience does not appreciate them, the words of Torah that he is imparting will suffer disgrace.
One must ensure that he teaches Torah using the choicest of words, entirely free of inaccuracy or imperfection.

The midrash is explaining that if the teaching is not in harmony with the whole Word, the teacher will teach inaccurately, not discerning the hearts of those listening. Moses and Aaron needed to bring the whole glorious experience they had in the Tent of Meeting to the people whose hearts were grieving. Assurance of help coming. By omitting it, this test in the wilderness brought disgrace to Israel, especially Moses and Aaron.

Fourth Commandment (Exodus 20:8-11)

Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy…Wherefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

Where is this in the story of the rock? It is in the equivalency of expression in holiness. Even as we are in the “wilderness of the peoples” seeking to draw close to the Presence of Adonai, so He has provided us the cooperative means just as He provided a Tent of Meeting to the Bride in the wilderness…

You shall keep My sabbath is equivalent to reverencing the sanctuary.

Our test in the wilderness of the peoples is to keep the Shabbat! As the Levitical priesthood guarded the holiness of the Mishkan and Mikdash, so the royal priesthood guards the sanctuary of holiness by creating a place of assembly in the Presence of Adonai so that we are filled with His glory to pass on to those in need.

You shall make holy garments for Aaron your brother, for glory and for beauty. You shall speak to all the skillful persons whom I have endowed with the spirit of wisdom, that they make Aaron’s garments to consecrate him, that he may minister as priest to Me. These are the garments which they shall make:..(Ex 28:2-4) … “They shall be on Aaron and on his sons when they enter the tent of meeting, or when they approach the altar to minister in the holy place, so that they do not incur guilt and die.” (v. 43)

Rashi: “When they enter the Tent of Meeting…and die.” See that you have learned from this verse that a Kohen who performs the service lacking any of the Kohen’s garments in subject to death.” This is a death “at the hands of Heaven,” not execution by the courts.

Leaders and priests are tested to see if they will uphold the holiness of Adonai; so is His royal priesthood. If the priests are lacking a garment, they suffer a kind of death different from a typical death. Likewise, the royal priesthood will be tested for her bridal garments. She will be tested for the Ten Words to which she agreed. She should lack nothing faith supplies for her beauty.

As Boaz tested Ruth, and as The Holy One tested Israel in the wilderness as a Bride, so we are tested in the wilderness of the nations, “abroad”:

To the twelve tribes who are dispersed abroad: Greetings. Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (Ja 1:2-4)

It is believed that the manna was provided in Moses’ merit and the pillar of cloud in Aharon’s merit. The water came from the Rock in Miriam’s merit.

The three siblings operated as a unit. Although the para aduma was burned in the second year in the wilderness for use in the Mishkan, the Torah portion inserts it in Chukkat, drawing the connection between the purifying water of the ashes of the red heifer and Miriam’s life, which helped to purify Israel. In this test, perhaps Moses and Aaron could have helped the Bride release the faith Miriam modeled for them, not simply to give them, but to teach them to operate their gifts from within themselves.

Moses and Aaron were to speak, not strike, the rock to release its water. Who knows if the whole congregation could have learned from their example to release Garden words with faith and kindness?

Sometimes we need, “Suck it up, Buttercup.”

Sometimes we need, “Words of life and healing are within you…release it.”

When we grieve over a missing person or opportunity, we are vulnerable. We may complain, lash out, or go missing ourselves. Chukkat is the story of the whole community. What happens when it is not the leaders who are missing, but the members of the congregation?

Therefore, if the whole church assembles together and all speak in tongues, and ungifted men or unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are mad? But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or an ungifted man enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all; the secrets of his heart are disclosed; and so he will fall on his face and worship God, declaring that God is certainly among you. What is the outcome then, brethren? When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification. (1 Co 14:23-26)

The Holy One is sanctified in the eyes of unbelievers when ALL contribute to the assembly. There are different kinds of prophecy, but all involve a telling or affirmation of the Word, which convicts, heals, provokes to repentance, encourages, comforts…because it is manifest through gifts, it is exactly what the grieving, exhausted, or rebellious heart needs to hear. If, like Moses and Aaron had a bad day grieving for their sister, a leader goes missing on Shabbat, a royal priesthood can stand in the gap even though they may also be grieving. Their willing presence directs attention to Heaven and releases pure, clean water for the needs at hand.

It is a Bridal test of released, purifying waters. The words we speak in the assembly should be milk and honey: purifying, edifying, provoking to repentance, comforting, healing, encouraging, inspiring joy.

When leaders or congregants go missing, the Bride has a hard day of testing.

What is worse than a Bride who dies trying? One who never tried dying.

At least Moses, Aaron, Nadav, and Avihu died serving. Our presence on Shabbat invites the holy Presence to dwell among us. It honors Him, not our emotion of the day or our purposes. He will be sanctified when someone goes missing, one way or another.

So on those days when I’m not quite myself yet, but I’m not anyone else either, that’s a day to speak less as I serve, as Aaron remained silent about Nadav and Avihu. Let the assembly step in and release pure water.

Let us honor the Holy One in the assembly, using His gifts just as we received them so that they become glory to His Bride.